![Artlantis studio 3](https://cdn1.cdnme.se/5447227/9-3/screenshot_8_64e62948e087c31b4a9aa5ed.jpg)
![what is the opposite of freedom what is the opposite of freedom](https://www.the-faith.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Freedom-is-it-a-human-right-.jpg)
Just reading this back I hear the voice of others, still living like this, ringing in my ears and how silly it all sounds now. I thought I was free to get high, free to get drunk, free to not work, free to treat people horribly, free to live life on my own terms and not anyone else’s. I thought freedom came with being who I was told I shouldn’t be, or couldn’t be. Going to work, paying the bills, and being productive. The entire time living under the misconception that I was FREE! That living this “fringe” lifestyle, not conforming to the “worlds” standards of how society instructed me to live. It reminded me of my life before Christ and the powerlessness I experienced for years as a bike gang member, convict, drug addict, and homeless person. I’ve become so accustomed to the freedom I enjoy in my life that this utter powerlessness was overwhelming. I couldn’t move at all, I could hardly breathe, and was close to a full on panic attack! As they began to tighten the fasteners, like bolts, to hold it in place I became anxious, frightened, and nervous. But then they pushed the form fitting mask down tight to my face, neck, and shoulders. As they placed the mask over my face my first thought was, “this is ok, no problem”. I climbed on to the table and laid down on my back. On Monday, April 23rd I went in for my first radiation treatment.
![Artlantis studio 3](https://cdn1.cdnme.se/5447227/9-3/screenshot_8_64e62948e087c31b4a9aa5ed.jpg)